Some people come out of relationships and ‘box’ themselves up because they feel/think they cannot do better than their ex. They form a strong bond (in their mind) with the ex so much so that it’s like their every breath depends on them. They shy away from new relationships because the new cannot be as good as the old – but truth is you can never really allow yourself to think that you can’t do better.

You have to have the power to think that if that last option was the very best that you could do then you probably would be with them. The fear of not doing better than the ex is one of many reasons some people are sticking to the single life (a fact they always deny).

There are (very) few circumstances when people break up for no reason (you know that fed up season almost relationships go through) and even when that happens, it is a clear sign that you didn’t have the stamina to see it through. In those dark moments when you find clarity, you also find acceptance. Part of acceptance is accepting that things are what they are and there’s nothing you can do to about that now.

Majority of ladies I know who thought they couldn’t do any better than their ex were ‘boxed’ up not because the men were too good (not even close to okay) that they will never find a kind-hearted or caring man but because they were emotionally abused (unawares) with ridiculous statements of ‘you’ll never get any guy like me’, ‘many girls want to be with me because….’or ‘if not for me, you wouldn’t have been…..’ and they unfortunately buy the lies. Your experiences should make you redefine your values. Now you are wise enough to know what never worked for you and may probably not work for you.

Why can’t anyone go from a Hyundai to a Lexus (no offense to Hyundai owners)? Even if you don’t get the Lexus but it’s the same Hyundai which will give you less stress in maintenance and its more road worthy than the old battered one, why not?. In some cases you may not get the aesthetically pleasing features your ex had, or the added extras of the ‘jiggy’ moves but he/she is/may be more loving, respectful, down to earth and caring.

Relationships end – some unsalvageable because once the mind is made up; any going back is to please the other but you can always do better than the ex. One interesting thing about life is that there is someone that when he or she walks into your life, your only regret will be why your paths did not cross earlier than when it did. So, if you recognise that every ‘ending’ can also be the ‘beginning’ of something (even) better, then you should begin to count it all joy as you embrace life again…dusting ‘the past’ off yourself, as you move on! Some situations make us so down but there should be no situation in this life that should be powerful enough to take away our laughter permanently.

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